I am 2 days away from training and filled with both expectations and curiosity as to how it will all play out . . I expect that I will make many, incredible new friends and that these friendships will last a lifetime . .I expect that my body will change and that, at times, I will question why I came to training to begin with .. I expect that my attitude toward the practice will vary throughout the 9 weeks . . I expect that I will miss Rory (my hub) fiercely but I also expect to be so preoccupied and busy that I will have to work to keep in touch with him . . and I expect that no words that I can generate for this blog will ever truly, accurately convey the mind-blowing experience that I will have for the next 2+ months .. but I am also curious about the things about which I don't know what to expect . . from the trivial (or, perhaps, not so trivial) thought of "how much money will I spend?" to the more significant,"what will my posture clinic group be like?" "will I fit into the group dynamics?" and "will my balancing series grow or suffer from 11 classes per week" . . but curiosity did, indeed, kill the cat and I need to "trust the process" and have faith in myself and my practice and trust that everything will fall into place . . so I will try to enjoy my last two days in Santa Barbara and limit the amount of anxiety I have regarding these expectations and curiosities . .
On another note, I had a great day yesterday . . I took class at Bikram Yoga Santa Barbara and I felt really strong and in control of my response to the heat, which although was present, was nothing like New York heat . . I went to an Earth Day 2011 event in downtown Santa Barbara with Katie (my sis) and then we went for sushi at a lovely place on State Street. Being here has definitely exacerbated my disappointment regarding not getting into UCSB. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and that something deeper is bringing me to Boulder but I can't help but feel sadness and even resentment about the fact that I was denied admission to UCSB . . Katie and I have not lived near each other since before she left for College of Charleston and we need each other more than ever at the moment . .more on that later. But, I did hear something interesting about Boulder yesterday at the Earth Day event. Apparently "they" (whoever "they" actually are) say that Boulder is Santa Barbara in the mountains and Santa Barbara is Boulder at the beach. I found that to be an especially poignant comparison at a moment when I needed some reassurance that Boulder is where I belong and that I made the right decision in accepting University of Colorado's offer. This decision is not just about me but about me and Rory and in making this decision I am asking him to leave the city he loves, the friends he has made, the soccer teams on which he plays, his family and, of course, his job, which although he is not enamored with it, it is his living . . and I am asking him to go somewhere brand new. I guess this is what being married is all about . . sacrifices and new experiences as a team.
On a lighter note, I am going to sit outside and enjoy the Santa Barbara sunshine and study dialogue. It's hard to concentrate when I have so many expectations and curiosities to fill my mind . . about TT and Boulder . . but it is T minus 2 and I need to get to work!
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